We Are So Ready For 2012

I've really had enough of this year.

Sorry I haven't been around for the last two weeks.  Our poor little computer randomly stopped recognizing some of the drives, and while thankfully it was all covered by the warranty, it took a few days for the parts to come in.  Then, WeeBee's Nonna died.

Nonna was his name for his great-grandma, and it was the first name he learned to say aside from Mummum and Dadda.  She was 92 years old, still sharp as anything, and always had a bag of cookies for WeeBee.  She had even gotten him a coloring book for Christmas before she died, and kept it hidden from him under a couch cushion incase he came over before then.

I really wasn't sure how WeeBee would handle the whole situation.  In his world death refers to computer batteries and cell phones that need to be recharged - neither of which is exactly permanent.  I tried to explain to him that Nonna was very sick all of a sudden, and she would go live with Baby Jesus so He could take care of her.  I wasn't sure how that would go over either, since the last time we went to visit Baby Jesus in church, he kicked pews and bounced around to the point that I had to drag him back to the car, screaming "Noooo, Baby Jesus!  I want to talk to Baby Jesus!" the whole time.  Let me tell you, it is absolutely impossible to feel good about yourself as a parent after that.

Anyway, when I told him about Nonna, he changed the subject.  Repeatedly.  At first I thought he was just being a typical two year old with the attention span of a gnat, but then I started to get the impression he was changing the subject because he didn't like what he was hearing.  When we got to Nonna's house, he didn't go looking for her, as he always had in the past.  He didn't mention her at all.  Somewhere in that little brain of his, he had accepted that she didn't live there anymore.  That was a bit of a relief, but I was then worried that on the day of the funeral he would get to Baby Jesus' house and throw a fit because he expected Nonna to be there.  Thankfully he amused himself by taking the hymnals out of their plastic protective covers, and was the most well behaved he's ever been in church.  He hasn't forgotten her, though - whenever he sees a picture of her, he says, "Mommy, that's Nonna!" right away.  So I guess that's really all we could ask for - that if Nonna had to go, at least he was old enough to remember her, and he's ok with  Baby Jesus taking care of her.

Unfortunately, in the week since the funeral, WeeBee has gotten a stomach virus and all four of us here have gotten terrible colds.  I have yet to decide whether it's worse for all of us to feel like we've been run over by trucks at the same time, but get it over with, or for it to drag on for a month while we get sick one after another.

And now I must go - WeeBee is slithering around on the ground underneath the Christmas tree rather like the Grinch who stole Christmas, and I'd better go figure out what he's after before the whole thing comes down.

Some Thoughts For the Day

1. No matter how good you think your child's eye/hand coordination is, never let them eat pastina on the couch.  You thought Cheerios were a pain to get out from in-between cushions?  Try rubbery stars the size of the head of a pin.
2. There's a quarter of a loaf of bread missing in my house.  I remember taking the bag away from WeeBee and putting it up on top of the refrigerator.  It's possible that my husband or I moved it afterwards.  Anyway, the thing is gone.  It's not the end of the world in that we had another loaf in the freezer, but I'm more concerned that I left it out on the counter and WeeBee swiped it, took it somewhere to eat in secret, and now there's an eighth of a loaf of bread hidden behind a dresser, becoming a mold farm.
3. It's very difficult to type when a small child is standing behind you, popping his head over your shoulder on alternating sides saying, "Ogurt!  Ogurt!  Ogurt, Mommy!  Ogurt!  Ogurt!  Ogurt, Mommy!  WeeBee NEEDS Ogurt!"  Of course you do, sweetheart.  We won't speak of the giant bowl of Cheerios and the sippy cup of milk you just had for breakfast.
4. Lowly speaks!  For seven and a half months she's been the quietest baby ever, perfectly content to watch WeeBee carry on.  Maybe once a day she'd get excited or indignant about something and babble for 30 seconds, and then go right back to observing the chaos around her.  Earlier this week she started shouting "Dyadda!  Dyadda!" when she woke up from her nap and wanted to be picked up.  Then yesterday she was puttering in the living room in her walker and Daddy came into the room.  She threw her hands up in the air towards him and squealed, "Dadda!"  :)

Happy Birthday, Mommy and Lowly?

WeeBee likes to wander around the house and talk to himself.  Sometimes he even sings.  Today, he apparently decided that it was Mommy and Lowly's birthday, and has been belting out "Happy Birthday" at the top of his lungs.

I have no idea what brought this on.  I had mentioned to him about a week ago that Christmas was Baby Jesus' birthday, but we didn't sing about it.  I didn't even think he knew the "Happy Birthday" song.  I don't think he's heard it real life since some time in October, and they generally don't use it on tv because of the royalty issue, so he didn't learn it from there.

Sad part is, I'm in the mood for birthday cake now.

I Guess Paula Deen Won't Be Going to Norway Anytime Soon

Some odd news for y'all...

Norway Runs Out of Butter

So if I go spend $10 on butter at my supermarket, is there a way I can sell it to the Norwegians online for $130?  Maybe set up some sort of cash4butter business?

A Real Cowboy

We've been watching quite a few Westerns at our house lately.  I don't remember what started it - probably a random suggestion on Netflix.  (Does your Netflix account make really strange suggestions for you?  Ours does, but more on that some other day.)  I haven't seen too many of them in their entirety, since WeeBee is usually puttering around, but Daddy has taught WeeBee to say "John Wayne."  Trust me, it's adorable.

Last night, whatever movie Daddy was watching happened to catch WeeBee's attention.  We then had the following conversation.

WeeBee:  Mommy, what's that?
Mommy:  That's John Wayne.  He's pretending to be a cowboy.
WeeBee:  (very serious)  No.  He is a cowboy.

I'm not going to argue with that.

Guess What I Just Realized?!?

If you go on Google and type in "kidney beans smell" without the quotes around it, my blog is the 3rd entry to come up!

I'm not sure if I should be excited, or really, really sad about that being the search that's driving people to my blog.

But if you're some poor soul who found my page by accident because your kitchen now smells funky, welcome!  Go open a couple of windows and then check things out here.

Also, as my public service announcement of the week:  If you're going to be cooking kidney beans this holiday season and using dried kidney beans out of a bag, make sure you boil them well before eating or throwing them in your slow cooker, because otherwise you'll end up with food poisoning.  This is probably really only an issue for my fellow slow cooker fanatics, because apparently slow cookers do not always get the beans hot enough to kill the evil toxin inside the beans.  Simmering them for 8 hours is not enough - they have to actually be boiled for a good 10 minutes.  (If you're cooking them on the stove, presumably you'll be boiling them long enough trying to soften them that whatever toxin is there will be killed.)  You don't even need to eat a lot of them to get sick - just 3 beans is enough to do it.  Scary, huh?  Personally, I think there should be more warning about this sort of thing - I mean, everyone knows that eating undercooked meat can cause problems, but I never heard anything about kidney beans until I started looking up recipes online.  Even then, a lot of recipes assume you're using canned beans, and don't warn you about the dried ones.

Alternatively, you could take the general stench and toxins as a sign that kidney beans are evil and to be avoided like the plague.

Anyway, my point is, if you're using dried beans in a recipe, do a quick search online to make sure you are cooking them correctly.  You don't want to end up fighting 15 people for bathroom rights because your chili recipe just poisoned them at your cousin's Christmas party.

R.I.P. Little Crock-Pot

Allright, so a 7qt slow cooker isn't exactly little, but it made for a better title.

Anyways, my slow cooker died a few weeks back.  I was washing the ceramic insert and noticed that there was a hairline crack running straight across the bottom.  After doing some research online, it appears to be a common problem with the model I had purchased, and once you notice a crack it's basically a ticking time bomb.  It might last you another couple of weeks, or tomorrow you could find it's shattered and your beef stew has leaked everywhere.  In other words, it's really not worth risking it.

Fortunately, this is the time of year to get a deal on slow cookers.  I'm steering clear of Crock-Pot this time, not only because it cracked, but because the lid tended to rattle and the last couple of times moisture was getting trapped between the insert and the actual metal pot, leaving a layer of funkiness I could never quite clean off.  Eventually I found a cheerful looking red one from Hamilton Beach which had surprisingly good reviews and only cost $15.  It's a 5 qt instead of 7, but I think that's really all I need - it's not like I'm cooking a Thanksgiving turkey in there.  I've been debating whether to hold off on buying it until after Cyber Monday in case someone has an amazing sale on it, but I use it pretty often during the fall/winter, and $15 really isn't a bad price.  So if I do end up just going ahead and ordering it tonight, I will post pictures of it later in the week.

I Guess We're Not Doing Such A Bad Job After All

Sometimes, on days where WeeBee ignores everything I say, I start to freak out.  On days that I'm incredibly sleep deprived, I start thinking that he will never listen to anything I tell him, and I will end up as the mother of a chainsaw wielding serial killer.  (Yes, when I'm sleep deprived, chainsaw massacres are a natural progression from throwing sippy cups and bouncing on the bed.)  Not to diminish the responsibility that serial killers have for their crimes, but let's face it, if your kid ends up being a serial killer, you screwed up somewhere.

Anyway, yesterday we were heading home after a very long afternoon.  Our gps had malfunctioned, we ended up driving around in circles for an hour, stuck on a detour, and ended up stopping at Ikea for ice cream out of frustration.  When we finally got back to our town, we couldn't turn onto our street because the telephone pole that had fallen six hours ago still hadn't been removed.  We were driving along our latest detour when out of nowhere WeeBee said, "Thank you, Daddy.  Thank you for taking us to the store and for ice cream."

I guess he pays more attention than I thought.

How Do You Scold A Toddler

That tunes out whatever you just said, instead hugging your kneecaps and saying, "Oh, Mommy, come have cup of tea.  Is all right, Mommy.  You need cup of tea?"

Never mind that he's the one throwing blocks or hanging upside down off rocking chairs.  Clearly, Mommy is the one who's over reacting.

Stop Eating the Pumpkins!

Today, WeeBee and Lowly went to the pumpkin farm for the first time.  Lowly slept the entire time.  WeeBee, however, had an awesome trip.  I think the highlight was going on the hayride - he got to see a tractor up close and even did a little "IT'S A TRACTOR!  IT'S A TRACTOR!" happy dance.  He wandered around the pumpkin patch organizing the pumpkins.  (Apparently he's inherited Daddy's OCD-ness.)  We had apple cider donuts that were literally fresh out of the frier.  He had a great time running through a hay bale tunnel and climbing to the top of the hay bale pyramid with Paka.  He even got a little pumpkin painted on his hand.  (We weren't sure how he'd react to getting his face painted, so that seemed safer.)

Somewhere along the line, he got it in his head that you could eat pumpkins raw.  He was puttering around organizing them in the field, and then I noticed he was leaning over and licking them.  Naturally, we tried to stop him, but everyone had their hands full and it was difficult to tell when he was simply bending over to pick up another pumpkin, and when he was trying to eat it.  The one we ended up taking home actually has a few little teeth marks on it.  I don't know if he thought they were mutant apples or what, but he got a kick out of it.  (He calls potatoes "apples in the ground," so who knows.)

WeeBee's questionable hygiene habits aside, it was a great day.  :)

Fearless

WeeBee has not learned a thing from his E.R. trip.  Today as I was looking for my pocketbook on our way out the door, I heard the following.

"Look, Mommy!  Bump!  Bump!  Bump!  Hi, Mommy!  Bump!  Bump!"

I looked up, and there he was, sliding down our staircase, on his rear, yelling "Bump!" every time he hit the next step.  He's going to give me an ulcer.  Apparently the other day I was such a nervous wreck that he finally grabbed my hand and dragged me into the kitchen, saying, "Come, Mommy.  You make cup of tea.  Have cup of tea."

He's lucky he's such a sweetheart.  ;)

What Goes Up Must Come Down

And sometimes that involves hitting numerous pieces of furniture along the way.

Well, it finally happened - WeeBee's insistence on living life on the edge landed him in the E.R.  Considering how much of my day is spent dragging him off chairs, counters, and other not so inanimate objects that he shouldn't be surfing on, I guess it was only a matter of time before he did some actual damage.

One minute he was throwing a hissy fit because I would only let him eat four crackers right before dinner, and the next he had either lost his balance or thrown himself backwards and was on the floor.  On the way down he hit the table and the chair next to him, neither of which had particularly sharp edges.  He jumped up right away, shaking his head and screaming bloody murder.  I picked him up and was rocking him back and forth when I realized there actually was blood running down my hand...and all over the lower back of his head.

Thankfully Daddy was home.  He was able to clean WeeBee up a bit while I pinned his arms down - at least to the point where we could see where the blood was actually coming from.  There was a nice 1/2 inch gash to the back of his head.  It was still sort of difficult to see how deep it was (curly blood matted hair and thrashing toddler don't exactly lend themselves to precise measurements) so we decided not to risk it and headed over to the E.R.

We were in and out of there in 3 hours, which really wasn't bad considering how many football and soccer players were sitting around us with broken arms and legs in the waiting room.  Apparently it was a pretty bad night for sports on the Jersey Shore.  WeeBee alternated between talking to the fish in the giant fish tank, and climbing on chairs.  (Clearly he learned nothing from his adventure.)  In the end, he needed 2 staples to close the gash.  The worst part of the day was hearing him cry "I'm sorry Mommy!  I'm sorry Mommy!" while I pinned him down on the table.  I couldn't see his face, but I knew he had that, "Why are you letting them do this to me?" look.

Afterwards, covered in blood and toddler snots, we hit the McDonald's drive-thru and got ice cream, which WeeBee proceeded to get all over himself and his car seat.  By the time we got home, we looked like extras in a low budget horror movie.

His first words when we got in the house?  "Mommy, can I have a cracker?"

Ever Wonder Where Your Taxes Go?

Mine go towards paying for this genius.

Dump Truck Vs. Overpass

Apparently, my toddler has a better grasp of construction scenes than this guy does.  I great big puffy heart NJ.

Normal?

WeeBee likes to climb/bounce/hang all over everything.  I had the following conversation with him shortly before he wedged himself between my bed and the wall and had to be rescued.

Mommy:  (seeing WeeBee run laps on my bed)  WeeBee, please sit down like a normal person.
WeeBee:  Ohhhhhhh.  (pause)  Mommy, what's that?

Not only does my two year old have an answer for everything, he's already realized we're not normal.  Isn't he going to be fun when he's 13?

I've Never Been a Chicken

Or Explaining Halloween to a Toddler...

The other afternoon I was driving home from the store and started trying to explain Halloween to WeeBee. He's at that weird age where he might like dressing up, but at the same time you can't just shove him in a costume and call it a day.  I mean, the other morning he wandered into my room with two laundry baskets on his head, on his way to find a crayon.  He will putter around the house in any shoe he can find.  But I don't think he really has much of a clue about costumes.  Our conversation ran something like this...

Mommy:  Guess what, WeeBee!  Halloween is coming.  That's when people dress up in costumes.
WeeBee:  'ween?  Costumes?
Mommy:  Yeah.  People pretend to be something else.  Lowly is going to be a ladybug.  But people dress up as dogs...or cats...or ghosts...or Bob the Builder...or chickens...
WeeBee:  (cutting me off)  What?!?!  I've never been a chicken!


Unfortunately, typing does not convey the disbelief in his voice when he heard me suggest dressing up as a chicken.  So not only is that off our short list, I don't think I'm any closer to explaining Halloween, which he now thinks is a day for wackos to wear chicken suits...

Mommy, I Have Sneezles!

WeeBee has always had a fascination with people being sick.  (One of the first phrases he learned to say was "You sick?" when a person sneezed or coughed.)  Lately he's taken to fake sneezing and coughing whenever he hears someone else cough.  Usually, it's cute, but in the supermarket, not so much.  Last week he heard a woman cough and then he started imitating her until it sounded as if he belonged in a tubercular ward.  The only thing that made it marginally better was that we weren't in the produce section.

Between the dust that's been kicked up from us attempting to clean the house a bit, and the pollen in the air with fall beginning, we've all been sneezing.  At last, WeeBee has discovered the joy of tissue boxes.  Not only do they make awesome homes for his toy trains, he can run and get "sheeeshoes" out of them every time he sneezes, wad four or five of them up, and blow his nose.  Today he triumphantly announced, "Mommy, I have sneezles!" and ran into my room to find the tissue box.  Apparently, somewhere along the line, sniffles became sneezles.  At least, I think that's what he meant.  Either way, at least he understands that dirty tissues go in the garbage can.

I Guess It Will Make A Good Story to Tell My Grandkids

I used to think my life was really boring.  I'm starting to reconsider that.

Yes, I felt the earthquake a few weeks back.  No, I didn't realize what it was at first.  I was in my bedroom, getting up from my desk, when it started shaking underneath my hand.  At first I chalked it up to rickety Ikea furniture and a bus going by outside.  Then I realized there was no bus outside.  I hesitated between my chair and the bed while the house felt like it was rolling under my feet.

My next thought was, "Oh my gosh, my house is collapsing because of shoddy construction and I'm going to be on the news tonight.  Three dead in house collapse on Jersey Shore!"  (Accompanied by arial views of my house looking like a pile of matchsticks.)

I remember thinking that the shaking felt very regimented for a house that was going to collapse for no identifiable reason, which was when I finally thought "earthquake?" followed by "Nahhh" and "What the heck do I do now?"

Just as I figured the hallway might be a better place to go, it stopped.  Lowly had slept through the whole thing, and WeeBee was perfectly happy watching Oswald the Octopus.  I ran downstairs and looked out the window, but nothing seemed unusual.  Then I went back up, and went on the computer.  Nothing had made it on the news yet, but on Facebook people were already asking, "What was that?!?!"  I have to admit, it was rather reassuring to know I wasn't losing my mind.

Then, less than a week later, we get hit with Hurricane Irene.  We were actually evacuated, and fortunately were able to spend the weekend with my aunt and uncle, who live further inland.  I know people say that possessions can be replaced, but that really isn't any comfort when you're packing your kids into a car and pulling away from your house with no idea what is going to be left when you get back.  It wasn't the worst moment of my life, but it certainly makes the top ten.  I was convinced that we were going to get flooded out, and I have a serious phobia of flash floods, so that wasn't helping.

Fortunately, we were able to return that Monday.  We had a lot of branches down, and the yard was a soggy, mosquito filled mess for a week, but the house itself was fine.  I don't think we lost power for very long, but people in the towns around us were still waiting for it to come back a week later.  WeeBee and Lowly had a great time visiting my aunt and uncle, and I don't think WeeBee had any idea that anything was out of the ordinary.  I still can't believe how lucky we were.

I'm really hoping Fall is a little less exciting, though.

Ten Years Later

Well, it's been a busy few weeks since I last posted - earthquakes, hurricanes, and such.  I'll get to all that in my next post.

I was a junior in high school on 9/11.  During the three minute break between a double chemistry period, my lab partner and I ran to the biology lab down the hall, which overlooked the Manhattan skyline.  Looking back, I've always been a little surprised the faculty let us hang around and watch, but I think everyone was too horrified to do anything.  Even if I wanted to, I will never get that image out of my head. The north tower was still standing, and the south tower must have just fallen, although we didn't realize it at the time.  (There was an insane amount of smoke, and it never occurred to my friends and I that a building that large could just collapse like that.)  Maybe one day I'll find the words to describe what it's like to know you're watching hundreds of people die, but today is not that day.

God Bless America.

So Apparently You Really Can Scream Until You're Blue In the Face

I found that out yesterday.  I'd never actually seen it happen, which is kind of surprising when you consider I had five siblings.  Odds are that one of us would have done it at least once, but no.  Leave it to WeeBee.

And what caused this?  Evil Mommy wanted him to brush his teeth.

WeeBee has a love/hate relationship with tooth brushing.  He likes his toothbrush.  He likes watching other people brush their teeth.  He will agree to brush his own teeth, but unfortunately that consists of gnawing at the toothbrush.  As soon as Mommy comes near him to brush his teeth, his mouth clamps shut and he goes all jelly legged.  If Mommy succeeds in getting the toothbrush in his mouth, he alternates between wailing at the top of his lungs and biting down on the toothbrush as hard as he can.

Yesterday morning, as soon as I walked over to him, he started screaming bloody murder and ran away.  I managed to corner him in the hallway, where he continued to scream even louder.  Then I realized he was turning blue.  Like blueberry blue.  It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen.  I always thought that kids turned blue when they'd do that silent scream, or hold their breath because they're ticked off, and turn beet red when they're hollering at the top of their lungs.  Here he was, screaming like he was being tortured, and turning into a blueberry.

In the amount of time it took to ask, "WeeBee, what the heck are you doing?" he was back to normal.  Well, normal as in not blue.  I took advantage of that moment to pin his arms down and brush his teeth as quickly as possible.  Definitely wasn't the most thorough job, but at that point it was more about proving that holding your breath does not get you out of brushing your teeth.

Maybe it worked, because that night he brushed his teeth without any drama at all.

WeeBee 1, Mommy 0

The other afternoon I wanted to make a quick trip over to Target to get a new extension cord, since I accidentally ran the old one over with the lawn mower.  Usually when I go shopping I try to leave Lowly home with Daddy, because she vehemently objects to being in a shopping cart that is not constantly in motion.  I don't shop that way - I'm always fumbling for circulars and coupons and comparing prices, and if I can get out of a store in ten minutes I consider that to be a huge accomplishment.  WeeBee, on the other hand, loves sitting in the cart and giving a running commentary on everything he sees and everything we need to buy.  You haven't really lived until you've wandered through Foodtown on a Sunday morning with a toddler yelling, "CHICKEN, WHERE ARE YOUUUUUU?" at the top of his lungs.

Anyway, back to the Target trip.  I told WeeBee I was going to the store, and asked him if he wanted to come along.  At first he said no, then he changed his mind, and started running around the house looking for his sandals.  (When one lives with a toddler, a good third of the time it takes to get out of the house is spent searching for footwear.)  Once he found his sandals, he ran over to Lowly, who was perfectly happy in her swing, and had the following conversation:

WeeBee:  Lowly!  You coming in car?  Carseat?
Mommy:  No, WeeBee, Lowly is going to stay here with Daddy.  Come on, we'll go bye-bye in the car and go to Target.
WeeBee:  Lowly, you want carseat?
Mommy:  No, Lowly's staying here.  Come on.
WeeBee:  (starts fumbling with the buckle on Lowly's seat strap)  Lowly come.  Carseat!
Mommy:  WeeBee, come on!
WeeBee:  (throwing self on floor and rolling around)  Nooooo!  Lowly come too!  Lowlyyyyyyy!

Ninety nine times out of a hundred, I have zero tolerance for temper tantrums.  But there he was, on the dining room floor, crying because he just wanted to be with his little sister.  He loves going to the store, and he wanted Lowly to have as much fun as he was.

Ten years from now he may very well deny this ever happened.  So, just this once, I gave in.

From the Country That Brought You Ikea

It's been a long time since I found some weird news for you all...

http://news.yahoo.com/swede-tried-build-nuclear-reactor-kitchen-144852351.html

I guess when you can furnish your entire house out of furniture you put together yourself following instructions without words, the next logical step is to build your own nuclear reactor in your kitchen?

It's Been One of Those Days

The kind where I want to run into the bathroom, lock the door, stick my fingers in my ears, and yell "NOT LISTENING!  NOT LISTENING!" at the top of my lungs.

I blame our dog for starting this all - she was the one who started barking for no identifiable reason at 3:15 this morning.  That woke up Lowly.  By the time I had checked to make sure nobody was breaking into the house, and the dog had water, WeeBee had woken up.  He stumbled out into the hall as I came up the stairs, and I scared him half to death (I guess he was expecting me to be in my room?)  In any event, he let out a blood curdling scream and jumped backwards so hard into a closet door that the door popped back open.  (It's one of those ones with the magnetic latches that work half the time.)  I felt horrible by this point, so I let him climb into my bed, where he proceeded to spend the next twenty minutes spinning around in circles, getting comfortable.  By the time he finally fell asleep, Lowly decided she really didn't want to be put back to bed semi-awake, and started hollering.  I think I got about 4 hours of sleep last night.

Since then, the whole morning has been a mess of exploding diapers, overturned Cheerios bowls, barking dogs, and incessant whining for milk, juice, crackers, bagels, and stories, in no particular order.  God help the next telemarketer that calls me, because I'm ready to scream.

Thomas the Tank Engine Music Videos

WeeBee is obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine.  Obsessed as in our conversations when he wakes up in the morning run something like this.

WeeBee:  Hiya, Mommy!
Mommy:  Hi there, WeeBee.  What's up?
WeeBee:  Milk?  Juice?  Milllllllk?  Fuffle?  (That's waffle, for those of you that don't speak WeeBee.)  Ohhh, fuffle and butter!
Mommy:  Ok, let Mommy put Lowly in her swing, and I'll get you milk and a waffle.
WeeBee:  Oh, ok!  Milllllk!  Fuffle!  Thomas!  James!  Henry!  Thomas, where aaarrrree youuuuuuuu?  Where's Thomas?  Fuffle?

I can't really complain, since I watched the videos over and over again as a kid, and I still remember the day I got my first Thomas train.  Granted, I still haven't gotten over the fact that Ringo Starr no longer narrates the stories, or that they've switched to computer animation.  But all this time I had no idea that there were words to the Thomas theme song, until last night when I put on some random episode thanks to Netflix, in the hope of calming WeeBee down before bedtime.  It's not the newer one that they sing at the beginning of the current episodes, "They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight," (thanks for making my kid think that's how you count - that's a rant for another day,) but the original one.  Something about "Thomas the Tank Engine rolling along."  It's part of Thomas' First Music Video, but you try typing that into youtube.  I'll save you the trouble - all you get is fan videos.  If I ever find it I'll post the link - the little children's voices are only mildly creepy, and it's good for a laugh.

I have to go now, because WeeBee is at my elbow trying to hand me "nose gunkies."  Judging by the way he's giggling I don't think there's anything there, but I'd better distract him...

I Despise UPS

It is 108 degrees here, and the bathing suit that I ordered is lost somewhere in the Buffalo area, on or near a train.

First of all, it's news to me that UPS even used trains.  Their commercials certainly leave you with the impression that everything is delivered via bright shiny trucks and planes.  Second, their customer service makes the people at DMV seem downright accommodating.  The only thing the representative was able to tell me was that a train had been late.  Not whether my package was on a train, or waiting for the train, or whether it was in Buffalo, or had gotten on the next train, or whether it was going to sit in Buffalo until Monday.  And then I couldn't even use big words in my online complaint because they limit it to 500 characters, which infuriated the English major in me even more.  I'm actually in the mood to put in a second complaint that they only allow you to use 500 characters.

I understand that things get delayed, but when you can't explain to me what you're going to do to fix it or seem the least bit apologetic, the angry letter writing campaigns begin.  >:(

Ink Stains, Lowly, and the Further Adventures of Teddy Bear

Well, for those of you who were wondering, a combination of vinegar and lysol wipes will remove pen marks from seat cushions.  Consider yourselves warned that the combination will leave your hands smelling rather funky for the rest of the day, however.

I've realized that Baby Lowly really hasn't gotten much of a mention on this blog yet - namely because up until this week she really hasn't done much.  But the other day she managed to flip from her back to her tummy, which I thought was rather impressive for a 2 1/2 month old.  I had put her in her bassinet on her back, and she usually rolls immediately onto her side.  I came back 5 minutes later and she was on her tummy, fast asleep, and stayed that way for the next 7 or 8 hours.  Happy Dance!

WeeBee shocked me today by sharing Teddy Bear with Lowly.  He's always very sweet to her, and he's offered her things in the past (cookies, her blankets, the occasional tub of diaper cream) but Teddy Bear is one of his most prized possessions.  She was sitting in her swing and he put one of his other bears on her lap, which made her smile.  Then he ran off and got Teddy Bear, and put that on her lap as well.  (By this point we couldn't really see much of Lowly - the bears are about the same size as her.)  Then he got his blanket and put that on top, at which point I unfortunately had to intervene before he piled anything else on there.  Still, it was incredibly sweet of him, considering how attached he is to Bear.  Now if I could only get him to stop walking up to her when she's sleeping in the swing and shouting, "Lowly?  Lowwly?  You want out?"

Ink Stains

I don't suppose anyone knows how to get pen marks off a corduroy seat cushion?  WeeBee went to town on the living room while I was making breakfast.  The little stinker knows exactly what he did - as soon as I saw it and said "WeeBee, what were you doing?!?!" he grabbed my knees and started his "I sorry Mommy!  I sorry!" routine.

In any event, if anyone has any tips, I'd be extremely grateful.

Apparently Teddy Bears Get Ear Gunk Too

Poor WeeBee constantly has ear wax building up in his ears, which I suppose he inherited from me.  Usually he doesn't mind when I try to clean it out, and sometimes he will even come over and tell me he has "gunkies" in his ears.

Anyway, I was sitting on the couch this afternoon watching the Yankee game, when I noticed he was sticking his fingers in his teddy bear's ears and having a conversation about ear gunkies - full of "oh dear, bear" and "You have ear gunkies!  Blah!  Ear gunkies!"

He says the funniest things when he's in his own little world.

All Better

WeeBee and I were sitting on the couch this morning when he noticed there was a bruise on my leg.  (I keep turning too quickly when I get up from our computer desk, and banging the side of my knee into the corner of the desk.  Don't ask, I'm a klutz.)

Anyway, WeeBee pointed to the bruise and asked "Boo boo?"  I agreed.  He then put down his sippy cup and scooted over to me on the couch so he could pat my knee.  Then he looked up and asked, "All better, Mommy?  All better?"

Yep.  :)

Rain, Where Are Youuuu?

So for the past two days, the news has been saying we're supposed to get thunderstorms.  The western part of our county was getting apocalyptic hail, and twenty minutes to our south there were trees down.  We've had nothing.  Sure, the skies turn that orangey grey color you get right before a thunderstorm.  We can even hear thunder in the distance.  But nothing ever happens, and an hour or so later, the skies clear up again.

It's driving me crazy.  I can't take the kids out, because I don't want to go on an epic walk and get caught a mile from home with hail the size of my daughter crashing down on us.  Besides, it feels like 95 degrees out there.  In the house it's a little cooler - right at the point where you debate if it's worth turning on the A/C.  Carrying Lowly around is like having your own hot water bottle with you at all times, and I could swear WeeBee's head radiates heat.  The air in a 3 inch radius of his head is 10 degrees warmer than anywhere else.  I wish there was some way to test that.  Not that it bothers him - this is the kid who refused to sleep as an infant unless he was swaddled in a fleece blanket in August.

I'm just hoping the power doesn't cut out.  My neighbors on one side have a window a/c unit that was making suspicious noises yesterday afternoon, and on the other side I've got people who proudly fiddled with their central air unit to give it extra power, and now the lights on the whole block dim any time it turns on.  It's only a matter of time before that thing explodes.

Oswald and Weenie Dog!

As promised, a picture of WeeBee's birthday cake...

I know that in "real life" Oswald is supposed to be a darker blue, but in the interests of the icing not tasting like a bottle of blue food dye, we had to stop somewhere.  I have to say, he's pretty cute.

Happy Birthday, WeeBee!

Today is WeeBee's 2nd birthday!  Not that he's quite sure what birthdays are all about - he kept denying that he was 2 years old, and he's rather skeptical of me wandering the house singing "Happy Birthday to Youuu!"  Then again, that probably has more to do with the fact that he doesn't like my singing, but that's a story for another day.  I'm sure he'll be more enthusiastic once the cake and presents come out.


Speaking of cakes - his is Oswald the Octopus.  I didn't exactly ask him what kind of cake he wanted, because I knew he would tune out everything except "cake" and think we were having it right then and there.  Unfortunately I couldn't find black icing for his hat, and I didn't exactly want to make my own because I was afraid it would taste disgusting if I poured in 3 bottles of food dye to make black.  In the end I bought licorice wheels that in theory I'll be able to shape into a hat, and then use for the eyes and mouth as well.  It's all done, except for the licorice - I'm waiting for Daddy to come home and take him out in the backyard so I can decorate in peace.  If it ends up halfway decent, I'll post a picture tomorrow.  And if not...well, it can't end up any worse than the birthday cake I baked for my husband the first year we were married.  I didn't know it was humanly possible to screw up a Pillsbury Funfetti cake, (aside from burning it) but apparently it is, if your tiny little apartment oven heats unevenly and goes from 0 to 450 degrees in 30 seconds.  For those of you who were wondering, under those conditions, the cake will not rise, and you will end up with a giant smiley face air pocket on the bottom of the cake.  One of his friends has photographic evidence of this.


Anyway, Happy Birthday, WeeBee!  Here's to catching fireflies, jumping in mud puddles, peanut butter waffles, dancing in the kitchen, eating corn-on-the-cob, and the best hugs in the whole world. I love you ;)

Does It Still Count As Sleeping Through the Night

If you're awoken by your overly enthusiastic toddler brother?

I woke up this morning to the sounds of "Hi, Lowly!  Hiiii!  Lowlyyyyyyy!"  (giggles) "Lowwwwlyyyy!" I opened my eyes, squinted at the clock, and realized it was 6am.

My immediate thought was "Ugh, why is WeeBee awake already?" followed by "Why is there a Thomas train running over my foot?"  Then it dawned on me that it was 6am, and Lowly hadn't woken up...since 9:30 the night before.  So I jump up, completely disoriented, thinking, "Oh my gosh - is she ok?  Is she dead?"  (Lovely optimistic person that I am, no?)

Well, turns out, she was fine.  At that moment she started squeaking, because it's really difficult to sleep through a two year old six inches from your face, yelling your name, even if you don't understand a word he's saying.  So of course, I was quite relieved...and slightly ticked off at WeeBee, because who knows how long she could have slept if he hadn't decided Mommy and Lowly needed to be visited by Thomas the Tank Engine and friends at 6am.

Say Hiiiii!

WeeBee just grabbed my hand, waved it up and down in front of Lowly, and told me "Say hiiiiiii!  Hiiii!"

When he's not driving me insane by trying to stick his fingers in the fan, I have to say, this kid cracks me up.

Where to Begin?

This is bizarre on so many levels...

Man Charged With Stealing House

1. The cops can't explain how the house was stolen.  Just how many ways can you steal a mobile home up in Canada?
2. Nobody noticed this?  It sounds like it happened in the middle of the day, and in some sort of community, so someone should have seen something.  Wouldn't you wonder why the 45 ft building that had been down the block for the last ten years was suddenly going by your front window?
3. Just how poorly secured was this thing that the thief decided it was worth forging paperwork and trying to run off with the house?  Squatting is one thing, but who wakes up in the morning and decides "I'm going  to go run off with a mobile home today!  No one will ever notice it's gone!  And no one will ever notice I've suddenly got one!"

One Day...

I will figure out how to get two sleeping children in a double stroller into the house, without waking either of them up...

Today was not that day.

That being said, we had fun.  WeeBee had an awesome time patting Lowly on the head and saying "Hi, Lowly!" every block or so.  (The seats are one behind the other, not side by side.)  We went looking for ducks and saw tractors and bikes and debated if birds lived in trees.  (WeeBee was a bit skeptical of that one.)

Poor little guy was so exhausted by the end of the day, he fell asleep over his dinner.  Figures.

Guess Who Got 9 Hours of Sleep Last Night!

I did!  (Insert happy dance here.)

Baby Lowly slept for six hours straight, for the second night in a row.  Then WeeBee slept until 9:45 this morning, for reasons known only to his little brain.  Unfortunately that same little brain just interpreted "Lean on your step-stool to draw pictures on that paper" as "Ditch the crayon and paper and use the step-stool to climb up on Mommy's bed and crawl through the laundry she folded but didn't get to put away because you were hollering for yogurt."  I don't really care though, because I got to sleep!

That really sounds pathetic, doesn't it?  :)

Oh, well.  I'm off to change diapers and take on survival of the fittest at Costco on a Sunday morning.  WeeBee just finished the last of the milk, and until our town changes the zoning and allows cows, I must go risk death by giant carts filled 6 ft high with 200 rolls of toilet paper, pushed by 5 ft tall women on cell phones...

Crazy News

I'm glad the European Union has nothing better to do...

http://www.newser.com/story/120719/european-union-court-to-france-save-the-great-hamster-of-alsace.html

Thanks, Dad, for drawing my attention to this particular bit of idiocy.  I mean, if the people of the Alsace region want to go form hamster support groups, that's one thing, but does this really call for the EU to get involved?  Shouldn't they be off preventing bankrupcy or looking for terrorists or something?

And since I've been so bad about posting lately, I give you this other gem...

http://thetablet.org/?p=583

Let me get this straight...your 8 year old thought it would be a good idea to drink a six pack of Red Bull in one sitting, went to the hospital, you're still not sure if he learned his lesson, but you think you're a good parent and it's Red Bull's fault?  I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but if your kid is that stupid, a little warning label in size 6 font is not going to get through to him.  And if you didn't put the fear of God into this kid after your little hospital adventure, that's your problem, not Red Bull's.

That being said, the fact that he was physically able to finish said Red Bulls without puking his brains out may indicate he has a promising career in those extreme eating competitions.  Might want to look into that...

Shopping Carts Are Not Mommy Friendly

I never gave it much thought before Lowly was born, but the average shopping cart is not Mommy friendly.

I attempted to go shopping today with WeeBee and Lowly.  WeeBee was perfectly behaved.  Lowly screamed bloody murder every time I stopped to get an item off a shelf.  I did discover today that fortunately people think newborn screaming is much cuter than toddler screaming.  Either that or the sight of me pushing a cart with my elbow and rib cage while holding a newborn with my toddler saying "Hiiii!" to everyone we passed was so entertaining that they didn't give me the skunk eye.

Which brings me to my problem - with the exception of Costco, which has double wide carts, going shopping with these two turns into a game of tetris.  In some stores I can put Lowly in the front and WeeBee in the back.  I wouldn't mind too much, but I never know when WeeBee is going to decide that we really don't need that glass jar of spaghetti sauce, and send it flying.  In other stores Lowly goes in the back in her carseat because the angle is too steep if she's in the front, but then the carseat takes up all the space in the cart, and I have to wedge groceries around her.  I'm always afraid I'm going to accidentally miss something that's slipped under her carseat, and the cashier will think I'm trying to shoplift.  I'm not saying that all the stores should have all their carts seat 4 or 5 kids.  Is having a few carts that are designed to fit 2 children all that unreasonable, though?

And You Thought Snakes On a Plane Was Bad...

How about thousands of snakes running you out of your house?

http://finance.yahoo.com/loans/article/112850/idaho-foreclosure-snake-home

It kind of makes you wonder what else is in the house, doesn't it?  I mean, the snakes have to be eating something.  And if you take away the snakes, will whatever that something is take over the house instead?

Personally, I think Chase should look into using it as the set of the next Indiana Jones movie.  I'd rather see Harrison Ford fight snakes than some stupid aliens any day.

Cuteness Overload!

Baby Lowly smiled for the first time today, at Daddy.  She was sitting on my lap as Daddy walked past to go downstairs, and he stopped to ask me something.  She looked up and saw him and grinned.  I'm just a teensy bit jealous, because whenever she looks at me I get the vague impression she thinks I'm mentally stunted.

Continuing with the cuteness theme, WeeBee fell asleep on Lowly's bouncy seat today.  Usually I'm able to keep him out of it (I couldn't find a weight limit on it, but I doubt it's made for 25 lb little boys) and he's happy enough letting his teddy bear sleep in it.  Today, however, he climbed in it and took a nap.  He's so big his legs were hitting the ground, and I can't see how it would have been comfortable.  The funny part is, I don't think he ever slept in it when he was tiny - he would sit and play with the rattles on it, but he slept in his swing.

Unfortunately he's hanging upside down off furniture right now, so I'd better run...

I Can't Win

I was so excited this morning to go shopping all by myself.  WeeBee is generally well behaved in stores, and Baby Lowly just sleeps through everything, but sometimes it's nice to not have to worry about little hands getting stuck in conveyor belts and grabbing things off racks.  (Note to Kohl's: Having carts where the kids face forwards and very cramped aisles is just begging for them to get into everything.)  I had a coupon for a free drink from Dunkin Donuts, and one of those Kohls Cash coupons, so I wanted to get a sundress and enjoy a coffee in peace.

It took me a little while to find the dress I wanted in my size at Kohl's (Note #2: Could you people please stock more than 1 of an item in Medium?  Please?)  I didn't bother to try it on at the store because I knew how the brand fit, (and I wasn't quite sure how long WeeBee and Lowly would behave for Daddy) paid for the item, and went on my way.  It wasn't until I got home and went to change into the dress that I noticed the security tag on the bottom had never been removed.  For some reason it never beeped when I left the store, and the cashier never noticed it either.

So now I have to go back there tomorrow just for them to remove the tag.  Yes, the internet is full of instructions and demonstrations on how to remove the tag yourself, but it's a knit dress and I'd rather not be left with a giant hole if I screw up...and I doubt Kohl's would take it back at that point.  Blah.

Apparently I Wasn't Taken Up in the Rapture

So I guess I get to stick around for another 5 months until Earth is destroyed in a fireball.  At least, I think that was the deal.  Although when you haven't slept in weeks and your toddler is hell bent on destroying your house, let me tell you, death by fireball loses some of its fear-inducing powers.

On a happy, non-apocalyptic note, I made blueberry pie yesterday.  I have to say, slightly warm blueberry pie with vanilla bean ice cream is one of the most awesome things in the world.  The filling was sort of runny, but I'm not sure if that was how it was supposed to be (I'm used to making apple pie), because it was still a little warm, or because I used frozen blueberries.  WeeBee was more interested in the ice cream than blueberries, but Daddy selflessly volunteered to taste test my future attempts at perfecting the recipe.  ;)

Since the World Is Ending Tomorrow

I guess I might as well update one last time... :)

Sorry I haven't been around in three weeks, but things have been beyond crazy here - in part because WeeBee has a new little sister.  He's named her Lowly (not officially, we're not stupid enough to allow a two year old to pick out a name that the poor kid will be stuck with for the rest of her life.)  To be honest, I'm not quite sure if Lowly is his attempt at saying her name, or he thinks we named her after Lowly Worm (from the Richard Scarry Busytown books.)  Either way, he's been very sweet and protective of her.  Which I appreciate, considering all the horror stories of evil little toddlers who make their little sibling's lives miserable that I've heard over the last couple of months.

I'm Doomed

WeeBee isn't even two and he's already figured out that if Daddy says no, go ask Mommy.

This evening I had gone upstairs for five minutes of peace and quiet, when WeeBee came crashing through the bedroom door.  Picking himself up, he announced, "I'm so sorry!" and then started tugging on my hand, asking "Cheese?  Cheese?"

I wasn't sure whether the "I'm so sorry" was for coming into the room like the end of the world was upon us, or because he wanted cheese...in which case, the apology didn't make sense.  After confirming that he was, in fact, asking for cheese (cheese, Cheerios, and juice can sometimes sound the same when he's worked up), I agreed, and we headed back downstairs.

Daddy was in the kitchen, making a sandwich and laughing to himself.  It turns out that WeeBee had asked for cheese, and had been told no, because Daddy was busy slicing ham.  Not one to waste any time, WeeBee then ran upstairs and cornered Mommy, who was completely oblivious to what had just gone on, and said yes.

Sometimes I wonder if he stays up at night plotting this stuff...

In Case You Were Wondering

I have no intention of getting up at 4am to watch the royal wedding.  I wish them well and all, but unless you are my blood relative, there is no way in heck I am passing up on sleep at that time to watch something that will be covered by every news outlet for the rest of the day.  Quite honestly, the only thing I am even vaguely interested in is what Kate's dress will look like, and I'm perfectly content to wait until 7am to find that out.

WeeBee: 1, Mommy: 0

The following took place at 8am this morning.  WeeBee is far more awake than Mommy, because Mommy still hasn't had her cup of tea that she's been trying to make for the last 20 minutes...

WeeBee is standing on a kitchen chair, surveying the dining room and commenting on sippy cups of milk and raisins...


Mommy:  WeeBee, sit down on the chair nicely.
WeeBee grins at Mommy, but doesn't move.
Mommy:  Do you see anyone else in this house standing on chairs?
WeeBee cocks his head to the side, but keeps grinning.
Mommy:  Does Daddy stand on kitchen chairs?
WeeBee:  Nooo.
Mommy:  Does Mommy stand on chairs?
WeeBee:  Nooo.
Mommy:  Then why is WeeBee standing on a chair?
WeeBee:  (grins again and holds his arms out)  Huuuuugggggg?

You win, kid.

I Believe It's Time for Our Weekly Crazy News Article

Technically, this news is from a few weeks back, but I came across it yesterday.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704630004576249013084603344.html

I've got to give the woman credit - there are plenty of dictators out there right now wishing they could knock out their country's internet access with a shovel...

I've also got to question the security of a country where people digging for potatoes can repeatedly knock out everyone's internet...I'm no farmer, but I don't think potatoes grow that far underground.  Is this cable under six inches of dirt or what?

Happy Easter!

Hope everyone had a great day!  The weather here was gorgeous - definitely the nicest Easter Sunday we've had in a long time.  WeeBee looked very cute in his outfit until he decided to sit down in a left-over mud puddle on our front steps.  I give up.

Ohhhh, How Naughty!

WeeBee loves to climb.  Unfortunately he has also inherited Mommy's total lack of eye/foot coordination, and it usually ends badly.  His climbing spot of choice this week happens to be the stools we have at our kitchen counter, which, while quite sturdy, were not made for a 25 lb toddler to swing on.

Anyway, I have spent most of the last week dragging him off these stools.  As soon as I take him off one, he climbs up on the other.  Sometimes he just wants to sit, (especially if Daddy is sitting on the other one) but he also likes to stand on them.  Last night he decided that the next logical step was climbing up onto the counter itself, and attempting to crawl across it.  He's been put in timeout and probably hasn't gotten a sticker for being good in a week - none of which seems to perturb him in the least.  The little stinker knows exactly what he is doing, and yesterday I got proof.  I came out of the bathroom to find him scrambling up to the counter, saying in his best horrified Mommy voice, "Ohhhh, how naughty!  How naughty!"  Then he stood up on top of the stool and grinned at me.

Yeah, I had to turn around so he wouldn't see me laughing at that one...

Nope, Not A Dog

Sometimes WeeBee is so similar to Daddy that it makes me laugh until I'm ready to cry.

My husband insists that any dog the size of your shoe is "not a real dog."  This evening we were all sitting on the couch watching some dog trivia show, during most of which WeeBee kept calling out "Doggie!  Woof!  Doggie!" and waving at the tv.  About 20 minutes into the show they focused on some ridiculously small creature you could put in a tissue box.  (Unfortunately I forget the breed, as I was more interested in keeping my cup of tea from splashing all over the couch.)  Suddenly I heard a little voice at my elbow say, "Nope!  Not a dog!"

I looked down, and WeeBee had his head cocked to the side, staring at the little ball of fluff on tv, and repeated in a very serious voice, "Nope, not a dog!"

That's when I cracked up and gave up caring what happened to my cup of tea.

And We're Still Sick...

Poor WeeBee sounds like a mini Darth Vader, and I sound like an escapee from a TB ward.  Still, I doubt you want all the graphic details on our sniffles, so I'll move on.  Suffice it to say that we both fell asleep on the couch this afternoon and Daddy got blackmail photos of Mommy asleep with her mouth hanging open and drooling.  (I vehemently deny the drooling part.)

In mildly amusing WeeBee news, he has figured out that if something has steam coming from it, that means it is hot.  During the last week or so he has been coming out with random observations and I have no idea how he figured these things out.  Obviously I warn him if something like the oven or his oatmeal is hot, but I don't think I ever actually explained "See the steam?  That means it's still hot."  This evening I had a cup of tea on the counter, and he pointed up at it and started asking, "Hot?  Hot?"  He hadn't seen me pour the tea, and there were plenty of other things on the counter, so the only thing that could have possibly made it stand out was the steam.  I was rather impressed.  Then, the other week, we were at a coffee shop and he was fascinated by the glass pepper shaker, and somehow knew it was pepper.  I mean, we have a pepper shaker at home as well, but ours isn't clear, so I wouldn't expect him to know what pepper actually looked like.  Besides, while I cook with pepper all the time, it's not something I sprinkle directly on his food all that often.  Of course, when I ask how he knows these things, he just giggles.  Oh well...

It's Been Awhile

So it's been awhile since I updated you all on our adventures here, but both WeeBee and I have been sick, and by 10pm I was completely incapable of forming coherent thoughts, let alone sentences.  It's still pretty bad here (how can such a little nose hold so much sniffly gunk?) but WeeBee was well enough today to try to surf on his toy truck while holding the back of the rocking chair...

The one good thing to come of all this is that WeeBee has gone back to taking naps.  Although he's always been pretty good about sleeping at night, he's never been a good napper.  (Are there really newborns out there who sleep for 18 hours a day?  Because from the time he was a week or so old, day time was for observing the world, not sleeping for 3-6 hour stretches.)  About 3 months ago, he stopped napping completely.  If I was lucky he would fall asleep in the car while I was running errands, or occasionally in his stroller, but gas is way too expensive for me to drive around aimlessly every day in the hopes that he'll fall asleep, and it was way to cold and snowy in January or February to wander the streets with a stroller for more than 10 minutes.  Besides, the whole point was to get him to sleep at home, so I could get 20 minutes to clean my living room.

Well, I'm not sure if it's because he's been sick, or just a coincidence, but WeeBee has gone back to taking naps.  Generally some time between 1:30 and 4pm he has an irrational meltdown over something (being told he can't climb on the end table or run his truck into the dog food, for instance,) climbs into my lap screaming, and within 5 minutes is asleep.  I can think of much nicer routines (bedtime story? song? teddy bear?) but apparently this works for him.  It's completely hit or miss what sort of mood he'll be in when he wakes up, but it's generally nothing that a slice of peanut butter toast won't cure.  (Apparently peanut butter toast is to WeeBee what tea is to Mommy.)

Who knows, maybe this will continue and I'll actually get to update my blog more than twice a week.  :)

And It's Crazy News Article Time Again...

Can you imagine if they did this in New York?  I mean, Mayor Bloomberg has an issue with McDonald's putting toys in their Happy Meals...imagine the self-righteous fit he could work himself into over this...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110407/od_nm/us_guns_radioshack_odd

Seriously though, I feel cheated - I didn't get anything when I signed up for cable a few years back.  And then when I cancelled it, they accidentally knocked out my phone and internet as well.  Evidently I need to move out west if I want to get cool freebies...

Why Does My Sick Toddler Have More Energy Than I Do?

I should preface this by pointing out that WeeBee never gets sick.  I vaguely remember him having a cold for 2 days when he was about 6 months old, but that's it.  So you can imagine my surprise when he stumbled into my room last night at around 12:30, all congested and running a fever.

Looking back, I was probably more upset than he was.  Having a little boy that never gets sick leaves one sorely unprepared for when they are actually sick.  I stripped him down to his diaper and gave him some cold apple juice, which brought the fever down a little, but then he started shivering so badly he couldn't speak clearly.  Not that this seemed to actually bother him - he proceeded to sit on my bed and wear his monkey pajamas on his head as a hat.  He probably would have slept through the fever if he hadn't been so congested.  Of course, he wouldn't actually let me near him to wipe his nose.  He thought the thermometer that I stuck in his ear was the most awesome thing ever, and insisted on me taking his temperature half a dozen times, but as soon as I came near him with a tissue, he was all "Nooooo, nooo, Mommy!" and squirming to the other end of the bed.  I figured there was no point in getting him all worked up and bringing his temperature back up, so I propped him up with my pillows, put on the classical music station (without any Bob the Builder shout-outs, thankfully) and convinced him to go back to sleep.

He woke up again around 4:30, and his temperature had gone back up again.  This time I gave him some Tylenol that I finally found, and he declared "Yummy."  He was perfectly content crawling all over the bed, talking to his stuffed animals, and trying to take his temperature.  And essentially, that's how he was all day.  Logically, the kid should have been in bed, exhausted and/or miserable.  He hadn't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, and he was still running a fever.  But no - Mommy and Daddy were stumbling around completely sleep deprived, while WeeBee tore around the house on his toy truck, bleary eyed and runny nosed, pausing only to ask for more juice and wipe his nose on my shirt.  Because, to a two year old, there's a difference between having Mommy wipe your nose, and running up to her and rubbing your sniffly little face all over her t-shirt...

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy he's happy.  I just wish I had that sort of enthusiasm for life today...

The Most Glorious Thing In The World

Is being able to sleep until 9:30 on a Sunday morning.

I can't remember the last time I slept past 7ish.  Lately, it's been more like 6.  I know there are millions of people who get up for work every day at that time, but at least most of them have weekends to look forward to.  Just when I had become resigned to never getting the chance to sleep in for another 3 or 4 years, WeeBee decided to sleep late.

I awoke to his cheerful little "Hiiii" and two little eyes staring at me over the side of the bed.  I was vaguely aware that a) it was brighter than usual, and b) he was in a remarkably good mood.  Apparently the extra two or three hours of sleep made as much of a difference for him as it did for Mommy.  :)

Of course within an hour or two he had scattered shoes everywhere, Daddy was pulling him out of a pile of dog food and water, and he was throwing a fit because evil Mommy was insisting that the blue fuzzy blanket belonged on the couch, not the floor.  So some things never change...

And Your Target Audience Is What, Exactly?

I have always had an issue with Obama's "Yes We Can" slogan.  Anyone who has watched more than 3 minutes of Bob the Builder knows that they say it at least 5 or 6 times per episode.  Now, while later seasons of Bob appear to have him working in some sort of eco-friendly tree hugging utopia, he still has the most neurotic group of machines working for him.  That's fine for the toddler set - for politics, not so much.  Especially since the next line is always the crane (who is afraid of heights) saying "Um...yeah...I think so..." in a very trembly voice.  And really, what's next?  Mayor Bloomberg singing "This Is The Term That Doesn't End?"  Mayor Booker convincing us "It's A Beautiful Day In the Neighborhood?"  Can we go a little higher than children's television for inspiration here?

Anyway, fast forward to 5:45 this morning, when WeeBee putters into my room and decides to worm his way into the bed.  We put on the classical music station on the radio, hoping that he would fall asleep again, and at first it seemed like it was going to work.  Then at 6AM they cut to some news blurbs, including the fact that Obama had been in New York the previous day, ostensibly to honor some dead person that had connections to the U.N., but also to attend some fundraisers up in Harlem.  I don't recall the details - I just wanted to sleep.  Then they played a clip of Obama saying "Yes We Can."  Up pops WeeBee, wide awake, shouting "Bo Bo!  Bo Bo!" - his way of saying "Bob the Builder."

Good job, Obama...

I Need New Soup Ideas

WeeBee loves soup.  I've been making it more often now that I have a slow cooker, and freezing the leftovers, but I feel like I cycle through the same 3 or 4 recipes.  Pea soup is the easiest, and WeeBee's favorite - he actually asked for a second bowl yesterday.  I'm still trying to perfect my black bean soup recipe, and the infamous taco kidney bean stinky feet concoction.  And then there's lentil soup, which is slightly more time consuming, since the recipe I have involves chopping a ton of vegetables.

Unfortunately, WeeBee gets a horrible diaper rash from anything tomato based (although he can eat fresh tomatoes) so that knocks out a lot of recipes.  He also doesn't quite have the eye/hand/mouth coordination to handle broth, so anything like chicken noodle soup is out as well.  (He's far to independent to let Mommy feed him - we've tried.)  So I'm left looking for something the consistency of pea soup, but using other ingredients.  Only problem is, you can't exactly type "pea soup that is not pea soup" into google and expect much, so if anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them!  It doesn't have to be bland - we're talking about a child who likes olives, balsamic vinegar, and feta cheese.  Bonus points if it freezes well!

You Know That Line In The Bible...

Where Jesus says something to the effect of "Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and give unto God that which is God's."

Somehow I don't think this is quite what He had in mind...

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/03/17/churchgoers-say-pastor-denied-communion-refused-hand-tax-refunds/

Because There's No Way This Could End Very, Very Badly...

Apparently when your team loses 101 games in a season, the next logical thing to do is give your fans bags of decaying waste.  I mean, at least then something might stink worse than you do.  Because it would never occur to your fans to start throwing it at you.  And it's not painful enough to sit through 101 losses, without some rotting vegetation and hot dogs to keep you company...

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2014563757_greenteams22m.html

Really, people?  Really?

This Is Good!

That's what WeeBee told me tonight while he was eating black bean soup for dinner.  Only he says it with a weird German accent, (no idea why) so it sounds like "Dis is goot!"  Either way, it made me smile.  Unfortunately he thinks repeatedly sneaking back into my room after bedtime with a teddy bear under each arm and standing at my elbow is equally adorable.  Which, in a way, it is, but I wish he didn't know that...

Time For Our Weekly Crazy News Article

The moral of this story, boys and girls, is if you are going to create an alias, put some thought into it...

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/03/23/2011-03-23_13_illegal_immigrants_named_perez_try_to_sneak_into_united_states.html

I mean, there are worse ways to try to sneak into the country than by wearing a Marine uniform.  But I would think doctoring license plates is pretty high up on the list of "basic things one should know how to do" when running such an organization.  And if you're going to cut corners on that, at least come up with different names - because 13 Marines named Perez in one van doesn't look suspicious at all...

WeeBee vs. Italian Ice

So what with today being the real first day of Spring and all, Rita's Italian Ices was doing a promotion where you could come in and get a free regular sized ice.  Not being one to pass up free food, I took WeeBee along with me.  I got him the lemonade ice, (figuring that if he dropped it, at least it wouldn't stain), and then got myself a strawberry banana one.  WeeBee was insanely excited about it, and loved sitting on the bench outside the store and shouting "Hiiiii!" to everyone who walked by.

Well, he was about 1/3 of the way through his ice when he looked up at me with this adorably hurt and confused look on his face, whimpered "Mammaaaa," and keeled over face first into my lap.  Poor little guy had an ice cream headache/brain freeze.  It didn't last long, but he refused to finish his ice after that.  Every time I offered it to him he'd grab his head and say "Nooooo."

Apparently my ice was ok, though, especially after he discovered there were little chunks of banana in it.  So we swapped and order was restored to the universe.

Now if only this would teach him to stop inhaling his food like there's no tomorrow...

If You're Bored and Want to See a Train Wreck

Watch WPIX/Channel 11 news at 10.

I listen to the news on the radio more often than I watch it on tv.  If I'm flipping channels and it happens to be on, or if I want more details on something I might watch it, but I don't sit down religiously and tune in.  So I was rather surprised a few weeks back when I came across Channel 11's news at 10, and the format had been completely changed.

To be honest, I thought the station was bordering on bankruptcy.  There is no news desk for the anchors.  In fact, there is only one anchor, and she bops around the room at random.  It looks like the studio is a spare room they rented in a basement.  You can see the cubicles of other people working there, doing...well, I'm not quite sure what they're doing on the computer.  There's no sports highlight reel.  Kaity Tong has been banished to standing by some river, giving news stories from there.  Poor Mr. G has a weather map that is one step up from a Kindergarten classroom's, where you get to stick clouds or the sun or a lightning bolt on the day of the week, and dress up the teddy bear in weather appropriate clothing.  In short, my high school's news club looked like they had a higher budget than WPIX.

So the other day, out of curiosity, I did a little research online.  It turns out all of this happened last fall, in an attempt to reach out to younger audiences.  Unfortunately, somewhere along the line someone confused "streamlined" with "looking like we got robbed and all our equipment is gone."

I get that they want to bring in new viewers, and if you can get 20somethings hooked now, you've got them for the next 70 years, for argument's sake.  And I get that people like things instantly on their phones and computers and all that.  But is it really too much to ask for a newscast to look like a newscast?

Spring Is Officially Here!

I broke out my flip-flops today!

Yes, I know it's technically the 18th, and the powers that be do not count "first day one can comfortably wear flip-flops outdoors" as the beginning of Spring.  But I do, and it made me happy.  Granted, I take flip-flop wearing to the extreme (March - November) and it is probably in part due to my residence in the land of mismatched socks.  But after the winter we had, I had resigned myself to my flip-flops not seeing the light of day until sometime in June...which made today even better.  :)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Hope you all enjoyed your St. Patrick's Day!  We did the whole corned beef/cabbage/potato thing here - well, technically, I made it all yesterday in the slow cooker.  I haven't decided if I'll do it that way again.  Corned beef is one of those things that tastes better the second day, but I still feel like something was missing.  Maybe next time I'll cook the potatoes and cabbage separately and see if they hold their flavor better.  I have a stockpile of corned beef in my freezer right now since it was so cheap this past week, so I'll have my recipe perfected by next year.  :)

At least I finally got my soda bread to taste right.  Normally I don't have a problem with baking, but for some reason I always have issues with scones and soda bread.  They always seem to cook too quickly on the outside and still be doughy on the inside, which completely grosses me out.  This year I switched to a really basic recipe and it came out fine.  Unfortunately, WeeBee didn't understand why he couldn't eat it right after it came out of the oven, and I had to hide it.  I'm doomed once he's tall enough to see all of the counter - that child has food radar...

I Want to Get Paid to Come Up With This Silliness...

It's nice to know that with the economy in the state that it is, the University of Illinois still has money to blow on this silliness...

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/03/16/134600344/seniors-have-trouble-walking-and-talking-at-the-same-time

Ok, I get that whatever department was responsible for this probably has a budget that they have to use or lose.  But they seriously couldn't come up with a research project that could tell us something we don't already know?  What's next?  More people eat chocolate on Valentine's Day than on the 4th of July?  More people go to the beach on a sunny day than when it's raining?

And if this was the proposal that actually got the funding, what were the ones that didn't make the cut?

Ice Cream Awesomeness

Well, for those of you were wondering, 45 minutes and a bumped head later, WeeBee did end up falling asleep in his toddler bed.  Unfortunately, WeeBee learned the hard way that when one sprints headlong into furniture (in this case, the glider's ottoman) and then a door, one does not walk away unscathed.  The "experts" say that when your child insists on getting up repeatedly from their bed, you should walk them back into their room silently and put them back in bed.  What they don't point out is that your child will probably find it just as entertaining whether you're silent or screaming like a lunatic.  It got to the point where I just needed to turn in the direction of his little footsteps and he'd run back into his room, shrieking with laughter.  Which was all well and good until he overshot his bed, crashed into the ottoman, and then the door on his way back out in the midst of his hysterics.  Daddy then came to the rescue with a sippy cup of water, and WeeBee evidently decided that all this running around was more trouble than it was worth.

On a purely happy note, I got a half gallon of Blue Bunny Bunny Tracks ice cream for 88 cents today.  Hurray for A&P sales and $1 off coupons!  I haven't had Bunny Tracks in years, but I'm happy to report that it was every bit as good as I had remembered it.  (I love when that happens.)  So go do a google search for the coupon and see if your A&P/Waldbaums has it on sale too!  It's totally worth it.  Unless you're allergic to nuts - then go get yourself a different flavor.  I'm not responsible if you don't read the label first in your mad rush to get your ice cream fix...

Toddler Beds, Almost Setting Your Dishwasher on Fire, and How to Clean a Coffee Pot

Or a typical day in the life of Annie...

So the epic battle of WeeBee vs. toddler bed continues.  He likes the idea of the bed.  He loves to jump into it and get tucked in.  He just doesn't believe in staying there.  The problem is, he doesn't want to be held until he falls asleep either.  I've been spoiled by having him in the crib - nine days out of ten I could put him in there after a bedtime story and he'd fall asleep on his own.  Now he wants to pull out his toys, play with the door, read story books in the dark, and knock on the wall.  I'm guessing that if I walk him back into his room enough times he'll eventually get bored, but then again, who knows.

On to more exciting things...I thought I set my dishwasher on fire today!  I had finished loading it up with the breakfast dishes and turned it on this morning as usual.  A little while later I went back into the kitchen and I thought I could smell something odd.  (Contrary to what this blog implies so far, my house does not always smell funky!)  At first I thought it was rotten food, which didn't make sense as I had taken the garbage out that morning.  Then it started to smell more like something burning, but I didn't have any appliances on besides the dishwasher.  Naturally I started having visions of opening it up to find melted plastic all over the place, even though I hadn't put anything out of the ordinary in there.

As it had reached the dry setting by this point, and there wasn't actually any smoke spewing out, I decided to go ahead and open it.  Everything looked normal, but the burnt smell was definitely coming from there.  Of course, as I'm trying to get a better look, WeeBee keeps trying to pull out the rack and grab utensils and just generally confuse matters further.  Finally, I discovered the culprit - a piece of fish skin.

I'm not an authority on dishwasher parts, but this particular model has a coil that runs along the base - I'm assuming it must release heat for the dry setting.  The other night we had fish for dinner, and when I had stacked the plates a piece of fish skin must have gotten stuck on the bottom side of one of them.  When I loaded the dishwasher I never noticed it was still there, and at some point it fell onto this coil.  Fast forward to the dry setting, when the coil starts to heat up, and you have recooked fish skin!  Which, in case you were wondering, smells even worse than slow-cooked kidney beans.  I got as much of it off as I could, but I'm going to have to take another look later - it was rather difficult to do while WeeBee was investigating.

On a good note, I figured out how to get most of the stains off my coffee pot, just by using salt!  After three and a half years, no matter how much I washed it with soap and water, it still looked sort of grungy.  I had looked online for ideas, but everything seemed either way to time consuming or I had tried it already.  Then  I remembered hearing that you could get tea stains out of a mug by using salt, and although I couldn't remember the exact details, I figured it was worth seeing if the same worked with coffee.  I sprinkled salt on the bottom of the pot, ran 10 cups of hot water through the machine, and let it sit there until it was cool enough for me to handle.  Then I poured about half the water out, added a little more salt, and set to work with a regular kitchen sponge.  Two minutes later, I had a sparkly coffee pot again!  There are one or two spots that I think are beyond all hope, but other than that, it looks brand new.  So at least one thing went right today.  :)

Floating Restaurant vs. Chuck Norris

So I found this gem of an article last night...

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2011/03/83_rescued_from_kentucky_resta.html

Now, in the midst of all this craziness, three things stand out...

1. Snorkeling gear passes for upscale restaurant attire in Kentucky.  Why one would have snorkeling gear easily accessible in March when living in a landlocked state is a whole other issue.
2. They didn't lose power - which is more than I can say for where I live when it rains.
3. And most importantly, Chuck Norris is a fire chief in Covington, Kentucky!

Kidney Beans and Stinky Feet

I learned a very important lesson today - cooking kidney beans in a slow cooker can leave your house smelling like stinky feet.

Let me begin by saying I love my slow cooker.  WeeBee is a very self sufficient little boy, but by 4pm he has usually had enough and turns into a cranky, clingy barnacle.  Have you ever tried chopping onions while having your kneecaps taken out by a toddler?  How about draining hot pasta while being dragged away from the sink?  Anything that allows me to put a meal together at 9am when WeeBee is all sweetness and light and busy playing with trucks gets major points in my book.

Anyway, this morning was my first attempt at making what was essentially vegetarian chili.  As usual I had puttered around online comparing and combining recipes, and decided to use black beans and kidney beans.  Now, I'm not a big kidney bean person.  I refuse to eat them on their own, but I can tolerate them in something like chili, especially if there's melted cheese involved.  So I threw the beans and veggies in the slow cooker, turned it on, and went into the living room to do a crossword puzzle while WeeBee drew pictures.  About 20 minutes later, I started smelling something really...funky.  I went back into the kitchen, and sure enough, the stench was coming from my slow cooker - and it was definitely the kidney beans.

Now, as I said before, I do not have much experience cooking kidney beans.  I have no idea if they normally smell like stinky feet regardless of how you cook them, or if it was the slow cooker, or just me being special.  All I could think of, however, was the fact that this thing had to cook another 8 - 10 hours, and would presumably leave my house stinking to high heaven.  And if it stunk that badly, who knew how it would taste after all that...

Finally I gave up, and WeeBee and I went for a walk.  If dinner was ruined, it was ruined, but I sure wasn't going to stick around all day inhaling it.  Surprisingly, however, the house didn't smell nearly as bad when I returned.  I can only guess that the other ingredients had begun to break down, and their smell was combating that of the kidney beans.  Even more surprisingly, when it was finally done that evening, it tasted pretty good.  I would actually consider making it again - provided I could flee the house for a few hours while it was cooking.  All the same, I think I'll continue looking for a recipe that doesn't involve kidney beans...just to be safe.

Where to Begin?

Well, after a week of lurking, I've finally gone ahead and started my own blog.  One would think this wouldn't be terribly difficult for a former English major, but years of having "write what you know" drilled into my head has left me a bit hesitant.  I always thought of blogs as having some grand theme - crafts, sports, family, whatever.  In all honesty, I couldn't think of any topic that I could continue writing about for an extended period of time while holding anyone else's interest.  I mean, I think WeeBee is the most adorable little boy in the world, but then again, I'm his mommy.  I enjoy knitting, but I'm limited to scarves and blankets.  I love to cook, but I can never guarantee having the time to pull out a camera and document my adventures.  I'm happiest sitting down with a book and a cup of tea, but that rarely happens these days.  And as my blog's title implies,  housekeeping is not my strong point.

So instead, this will just be a blog of my observations - things that happen to me, weird stuff on the news, and the occasional cooking success story.  I'm not sure if that makes it any more interesting, but we all have to start somewhere.  I hope you enjoy it.