What Goes Up Must Come Down

And sometimes that involves hitting numerous pieces of furniture along the way.

Well, it finally happened - WeeBee's insistence on living life on the edge landed him in the E.R.  Considering how much of my day is spent dragging him off chairs, counters, and other not so inanimate objects that he shouldn't be surfing on, I guess it was only a matter of time before he did some actual damage.

One minute he was throwing a hissy fit because I would only let him eat four crackers right before dinner, and the next he had either lost his balance or thrown himself backwards and was on the floor.  On the way down he hit the table and the chair next to him, neither of which had particularly sharp edges.  He jumped up right away, shaking his head and screaming bloody murder.  I picked him up and was rocking him back and forth when I realized there actually was blood running down my hand...and all over the lower back of his head.

Thankfully Daddy was home.  He was able to clean WeeBee up a bit while I pinned his arms down - at least to the point where we could see where the blood was actually coming from.  There was a nice 1/2 inch gash to the back of his head.  It was still sort of difficult to see how deep it was (curly blood matted hair and thrashing toddler don't exactly lend themselves to precise measurements) so we decided not to risk it and headed over to the E.R.

We were in and out of there in 3 hours, which really wasn't bad considering how many football and soccer players were sitting around us with broken arms and legs in the waiting room.  Apparently it was a pretty bad night for sports on the Jersey Shore.  WeeBee alternated between talking to the fish in the giant fish tank, and climbing on chairs.  (Clearly he learned nothing from his adventure.)  In the end, he needed 2 staples to close the gash.  The worst part of the day was hearing him cry "I'm sorry Mommy!  I'm sorry Mommy!" while I pinned him down on the table.  I couldn't see his face, but I knew he had that, "Why are you letting them do this to me?" look.

Afterwards, covered in blood and toddler snots, we hit the McDonald's drive-thru and got ice cream, which WeeBee proceeded to get all over himself and his car seat.  By the time we got home, we looked like extras in a low budget horror movie.

His first words when we got in the house?  "Mommy, can I have a cracker?"

Ever Wonder Where Your Taxes Go?

Mine go towards paying for this genius.

Dump Truck Vs. Overpass

Apparently, my toddler has a better grasp of construction scenes than this guy does.  I great big puffy heart NJ.

Normal?

WeeBee likes to climb/bounce/hang all over everything.  I had the following conversation with him shortly before he wedged himself between my bed and the wall and had to be rescued.

Mommy:  (seeing WeeBee run laps on my bed)  WeeBee, please sit down like a normal person.
WeeBee:  Ohhhhhhh.  (pause)  Mommy, what's that?

Not only does my two year old have an answer for everything, he's already realized we're not normal.  Isn't he going to be fun when he's 13?

I've Never Been a Chicken

Or Explaining Halloween to a Toddler...

The other afternoon I was driving home from the store and started trying to explain Halloween to WeeBee. He's at that weird age where he might like dressing up, but at the same time you can't just shove him in a costume and call it a day.  I mean, the other morning he wandered into my room with two laundry baskets on his head, on his way to find a crayon.  He will putter around the house in any shoe he can find.  But I don't think he really has much of a clue about costumes.  Our conversation ran something like this...

Mommy:  Guess what, WeeBee!  Halloween is coming.  That's when people dress up in costumes.
WeeBee:  'ween?  Costumes?
Mommy:  Yeah.  People pretend to be something else.  Lowly is going to be a ladybug.  But people dress up as dogs...or cats...or ghosts...or Bob the Builder...or chickens...
WeeBee:  (cutting me off)  What?!?!  I've never been a chicken!


Unfortunately, typing does not convey the disbelief in his voice when he heard me suggest dressing up as a chicken.  So not only is that off our short list, I don't think I'm any closer to explaining Halloween, which he now thinks is a day for wackos to wear chicken suits...

Mommy, I Have Sneezles!

WeeBee has always had a fascination with people being sick.  (One of the first phrases he learned to say was "You sick?" when a person sneezed or coughed.)  Lately he's taken to fake sneezing and coughing whenever he hears someone else cough.  Usually, it's cute, but in the supermarket, not so much.  Last week he heard a woman cough and then he started imitating her until it sounded as if he belonged in a tubercular ward.  The only thing that made it marginally better was that we weren't in the produce section.

Between the dust that's been kicked up from us attempting to clean the house a bit, and the pollen in the air with fall beginning, we've all been sneezing.  At last, WeeBee has discovered the joy of tissue boxes.  Not only do they make awesome homes for his toy trains, he can run and get "sheeeshoes" out of them every time he sneezes, wad four or five of them up, and blow his nose.  Today he triumphantly announced, "Mommy, I have sneezles!" and ran into my room to find the tissue box.  Apparently, somewhere along the line, sniffles became sneezles.  At least, I think that's what he meant.  Either way, at least he understands that dirty tissues go in the garbage can.

I Guess It Will Make A Good Story to Tell My Grandkids

I used to think my life was really boring.  I'm starting to reconsider that.

Yes, I felt the earthquake a few weeks back.  No, I didn't realize what it was at first.  I was in my bedroom, getting up from my desk, when it started shaking underneath my hand.  At first I chalked it up to rickety Ikea furniture and a bus going by outside.  Then I realized there was no bus outside.  I hesitated between my chair and the bed while the house felt like it was rolling under my feet.

My next thought was, "Oh my gosh, my house is collapsing because of shoddy construction and I'm going to be on the news tonight.  Three dead in house collapse on Jersey Shore!"  (Accompanied by arial views of my house looking like a pile of matchsticks.)

I remember thinking that the shaking felt very regimented for a house that was going to collapse for no identifiable reason, which was when I finally thought "earthquake?" followed by "Nahhh" and "What the heck do I do now?"

Just as I figured the hallway might be a better place to go, it stopped.  Lowly had slept through the whole thing, and WeeBee was perfectly happy watching Oswald the Octopus.  I ran downstairs and looked out the window, but nothing seemed unusual.  Then I went back up, and went on the computer.  Nothing had made it on the news yet, but on Facebook people were already asking, "What was that?!?!"  I have to admit, it was rather reassuring to know I wasn't losing my mind.

Then, less than a week later, we get hit with Hurricane Irene.  We were actually evacuated, and fortunately were able to spend the weekend with my aunt and uncle, who live further inland.  I know people say that possessions can be replaced, but that really isn't any comfort when you're packing your kids into a car and pulling away from your house with no idea what is going to be left when you get back.  It wasn't the worst moment of my life, but it certainly makes the top ten.  I was convinced that we were going to get flooded out, and I have a serious phobia of flash floods, so that wasn't helping.

Fortunately, we were able to return that Monday.  We had a lot of branches down, and the yard was a soggy, mosquito filled mess for a week, but the house itself was fine.  I don't think we lost power for very long, but people in the towns around us were still waiting for it to come back a week later.  WeeBee and Lowly had a great time visiting my aunt and uncle, and I don't think WeeBee had any idea that anything was out of the ordinary.  I still can't believe how lucky we were.

I'm really hoping Fall is a little less exciting, though.

Ten Years Later

Well, it's been a busy few weeks since I last posted - earthquakes, hurricanes, and such.  I'll get to all that in my next post.

I was a junior in high school on 9/11.  During the three minute break between a double chemistry period, my lab partner and I ran to the biology lab down the hall, which overlooked the Manhattan skyline.  Looking back, I've always been a little surprised the faculty let us hang around and watch, but I think everyone was too horrified to do anything.  Even if I wanted to, I will never get that image out of my head. The north tower was still standing, and the south tower must have just fallen, although we didn't realize it at the time.  (There was an insane amount of smoke, and it never occurred to my friends and I that a building that large could just collapse like that.)  Maybe one day I'll find the words to describe what it's like to know you're watching hundreds of people die, but today is not that day.

God Bless America.