So Apparently You Really Can Scream Until You're Blue In the Face

I found that out yesterday.  I'd never actually seen it happen, which is kind of surprising when you consider I had five siblings.  Odds are that one of us would have done it at least once, but no.  Leave it to WeeBee.

And what caused this?  Evil Mommy wanted him to brush his teeth.

WeeBee has a love/hate relationship with tooth brushing.  He likes his toothbrush.  He likes watching other people brush their teeth.  He will agree to brush his own teeth, but unfortunately that consists of gnawing at the toothbrush.  As soon as Mommy comes near him to brush his teeth, his mouth clamps shut and he goes all jelly legged.  If Mommy succeeds in getting the toothbrush in his mouth, he alternates between wailing at the top of his lungs and biting down on the toothbrush as hard as he can.

Yesterday morning, as soon as I walked over to him, he started screaming bloody murder and ran away.  I managed to corner him in the hallway, where he continued to scream even louder.  Then I realized he was turning blue.  Like blueberry blue.  It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen.  I always thought that kids turned blue when they'd do that silent scream, or hold their breath because they're ticked off, and turn beet red when they're hollering at the top of their lungs.  Here he was, screaming like he was being tortured, and turning into a blueberry.

In the amount of time it took to ask, "WeeBee, what the heck are you doing?" he was back to normal.  Well, normal as in not blue.  I took advantage of that moment to pin his arms down and brush his teeth as quickly as possible.  Definitely wasn't the most thorough job, but at that point it was more about proving that holding your breath does not get you out of brushing your teeth.

Maybe it worked, because that night he brushed his teeth without any drama at all.

WeeBee 1, Mommy 0

The other afternoon I wanted to make a quick trip over to Target to get a new extension cord, since I accidentally ran the old one over with the lawn mower.  Usually when I go shopping I try to leave Lowly home with Daddy, because she vehemently objects to being in a shopping cart that is not constantly in motion.  I don't shop that way - I'm always fumbling for circulars and coupons and comparing prices, and if I can get out of a store in ten minutes I consider that to be a huge accomplishment.  WeeBee, on the other hand, loves sitting in the cart and giving a running commentary on everything he sees and everything we need to buy.  You haven't really lived until you've wandered through Foodtown on a Sunday morning with a toddler yelling, "CHICKEN, WHERE ARE YOUUUUUU?" at the top of his lungs.

Anyway, back to the Target trip.  I told WeeBee I was going to the store, and asked him if he wanted to come along.  At first he said no, then he changed his mind, and started running around the house looking for his sandals.  (When one lives with a toddler, a good third of the time it takes to get out of the house is spent searching for footwear.)  Once he found his sandals, he ran over to Lowly, who was perfectly happy in her swing, and had the following conversation:

WeeBee:  Lowly!  You coming in car?  Carseat?
Mommy:  No, WeeBee, Lowly is going to stay here with Daddy.  Come on, we'll go bye-bye in the car and go to Target.
WeeBee:  Lowly, you want carseat?
Mommy:  No, Lowly's staying here.  Come on.
WeeBee:  (starts fumbling with the buckle on Lowly's seat strap)  Lowly come.  Carseat!
Mommy:  WeeBee, come on!
WeeBee:  (throwing self on floor and rolling around)  Nooooo!  Lowly come too!  Lowlyyyyyyy!

Ninety nine times out of a hundred, I have zero tolerance for temper tantrums.  But there he was, on the dining room floor, crying because he just wanted to be with his little sister.  He loves going to the store, and he wanted Lowly to have as much fun as he was.

Ten years from now he may very well deny this ever happened.  So, just this once, I gave in.

From the Country That Brought You Ikea

It's been a long time since I found some weird news for you all...

http://news.yahoo.com/swede-tried-build-nuclear-reactor-kitchen-144852351.html

I guess when you can furnish your entire house out of furniture you put together yourself following instructions without words, the next logical step is to build your own nuclear reactor in your kitchen?

It's Been One of Those Days

The kind where I want to run into the bathroom, lock the door, stick my fingers in my ears, and yell "NOT LISTENING!  NOT LISTENING!" at the top of my lungs.

I blame our dog for starting this all - she was the one who started barking for no identifiable reason at 3:15 this morning.  That woke up Lowly.  By the time I had checked to make sure nobody was breaking into the house, and the dog had water, WeeBee had woken up.  He stumbled out into the hall as I came up the stairs, and I scared him half to death (I guess he was expecting me to be in my room?)  In any event, he let out a blood curdling scream and jumped backwards so hard into a closet door that the door popped back open.  (It's one of those ones with the magnetic latches that work half the time.)  I felt horrible by this point, so I let him climb into my bed, where he proceeded to spend the next twenty minutes spinning around in circles, getting comfortable.  By the time he finally fell asleep, Lowly decided she really didn't want to be put back to bed semi-awake, and started hollering.  I think I got about 4 hours of sleep last night.

Since then, the whole morning has been a mess of exploding diapers, overturned Cheerios bowls, barking dogs, and incessant whining for milk, juice, crackers, bagels, and stories, in no particular order.  God help the next telemarketer that calls me, because I'm ready to scream.

Thomas the Tank Engine Music Videos

WeeBee is obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine.  Obsessed as in our conversations when he wakes up in the morning run something like this.

WeeBee:  Hiya, Mommy!
Mommy:  Hi there, WeeBee.  What's up?
WeeBee:  Milk?  Juice?  Milllllllk?  Fuffle?  (That's waffle, for those of you that don't speak WeeBee.)  Ohhh, fuffle and butter!
Mommy:  Ok, let Mommy put Lowly in her swing, and I'll get you milk and a waffle.
WeeBee:  Oh, ok!  Milllllk!  Fuffle!  Thomas!  James!  Henry!  Thomas, where aaarrrree youuuuuuuu?  Where's Thomas?  Fuffle?

I can't really complain, since I watched the videos over and over again as a kid, and I still remember the day I got my first Thomas train.  Granted, I still haven't gotten over the fact that Ringo Starr no longer narrates the stories, or that they've switched to computer animation.  But all this time I had no idea that there were words to the Thomas theme song, until last night when I put on some random episode thanks to Netflix, in the hope of calming WeeBee down before bedtime.  It's not the newer one that they sing at the beginning of the current episodes, "They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight," (thanks for making my kid think that's how you count - that's a rant for another day,) but the original one.  Something about "Thomas the Tank Engine rolling along."  It's part of Thomas' First Music Video, but you try typing that into youtube.  I'll save you the trouble - all you get is fan videos.  If I ever find it I'll post the link - the little children's voices are only mildly creepy, and it's good for a laugh.

I have to go now, because WeeBee is at my elbow trying to hand me "nose gunkies."  Judging by the way he's giggling I don't think there's anything there, but I'd better distract him...